“First off WOW! Just wow WOW! You are incredible! We spent all day yesterday looking through the photos and you so wonderfully captured Drew and I! You guys are truly a power couple! Thank you for helping capture our day and make it so special! You guys are rockstars! Thank you again!!!” -Jenna

We’ve somehow reduced the entire wedding first look conversation to one solitary, very loaded question: “But won’t having a first look ruin seeing each other at the ceremony?!”

As a Minnesota wedding photographer who has photographed so many weddings that I’ve lost count, I can answer that one pretty confidently:

“No.”

And for something that has the potential to completely change your experience of your wedding day, I think the benefits of a first look deserve a little more air-time than they typically get. 

Venue: Grand Palladium Select Costa Mujeres

Now before I hop on my soapbox and become the unofficial spokesperson for Team First Look, let me be very clear about something: 

If seeing each other for the first time at the ceremony is something you’ve been dreaming about since long before color palettes and guest lists entered the chat, I am absolutely not here to talk you out of it. I will happily cry behind my camera while it happens. I won’t even pretend something got caught in my eye. I’ll just let the tears roll.  

But if the only reason you’re skipping first look photos is because somebody told you it would “take away” from the ceremony moment, I’d love to borrow a few minutes of your time to offer a different perspective. 

Having a first look at your wedding has nothing to do with photography (although the first look photos will inevitably slap) and everything to do with buying back part of your wedding day—spending more than seven collective moments alone before you become the hosts of the biggest party you’ve ever seen.

And personally, I think that’s a much more compelling conversation than whether or not your soon-to-be husband sees your dress forty-five minutes earlier.

Here Are Eight Ways A Wedding First Look Impacts Your Experience

01. A first look in your wedding day timeline gives you more time with the human you came to marry. 

This one seems painfully obvious once someone writes it out and posts it on their blog, but for whatever reason… nobody does. (Until now.)

If you skip a first look, there’s a very real chance you won’t spend any meaningful time alone with your fiancé until after you’re already married.

(Go ahead, read that again, just for good measure.)

You will spend the morning getting ready separately. You will see each other at the ceremony. Then you will be shuffled off for family photos, wedding party photos, portraits, hugs, congratulations, grand entrance, dinner, speeches, dances, and somewhere around when the DJ cues up ‘Closing Time,’ you’ll finally find yourselves standing next to each other long enough to ask, “Soooo, how are you doing? Oh, and did you catch the fact that we’re married now?”

And by then, you’ve already been husband and wife for a good seven-ish hours.

I don’t mean to be dramatic, but let’s be dramatic and let that soak in for a second. That’s WILD.

A first look gives you a few extra minutes of being fiancés, a few extra minutes to stand on the edge of forever before the day starts moving at a hundred miles a minute. 

Venue: Redeemed Farm

02. It doesn’t take away from the ceremony moment. It gives you two separate moments.

The logic goes something like this: If we’ve already seen each other, surely the ceremony won’t feel as emotional.

Like, I get it. But also, I have watched grown men sob through a first look, spend the next hour swearing up and down they’re “good now,” take their place at the altar, see their bride coming down the aisle… and cry even harder. (Ever seen a groom’s lip quiver? I have.)

Love doesn’t stick to a one-tear minimum. And those two separate moments are doing two very different things.

Your first look is private. Your ceremony is public.

One is the moment you finally get to breathe easy because your person is standing right there in front of you, looking the hottest they’ve ever looked while they’re a grand total of one declaration of intent away from becoming yours.

The other is the moment you promise forever in front of everyone who’s helped you become who you are.

Neither replaces the other. It will hit you like a bus, no matter what.

(And the human body is fully capable of crying twice in the span of thirty minutes. I promise.)

Venue: Northern Pacific Center

03. Having a first look changes how your entire wedding day plays out.

Here’s the thing nobody tells you: 

Your timeline is doing something MUCH more important than telling people where they’re supposed to be and when they’re supposed to be there. Your wedding day timeline ultimately determines your experience of—wait for it—your wedding day.

People tend to think about timelines like they’re (severely) logistical documents. Hair starts here. Ceremony starts there. Dinner starts at six… or else.

But your timeline actually determines whether your morning feels calm enough to actually notice you’re getting married or whether you’re sprinting through your own wedding day.

It’s actually deciding whether cocktail hour becomes one of your favorite memories or something you only hear about later because you were taking portraits while everyone else was enjoying the bacon-wrapped dates you carefully selected from the catering menu.

A first look doesn’t just give us the chance to move wedding party photos and family portraits earlier because you’ve already seen each other.

It creates margin. And if there’s one thing wedding days could all use a lot more of, it’s margin.

04. A first look gives your nervous system a chance to catch up.

If you ever want to witness magic, just hide behind a hydrangea and watch a first look play out:

Shoulders drop. Lungs start filling with air again. Nervous laughter turns into real laughter.

I’ve watched couples who spent the entire morning low-key vibrating with anxious energy completely settle the second they were standing in front of each other. It’s like their brains collectively go, “Oh. There you are. Okay, we can do this.”

That visible shift (and the first look photos of it) are about as good as it gets.

05. You actually get to be at your own cocktail hour.

I’d like to take a moment of silence for all of the cocktail hours that brides and grooms have never actually attended.

One of the greatest tragedies of the wedding industry is the amount of time and money spent on signature drinks, gorgeous charcuterie boards and hors d’oeuvres (no, but have you ever had a bacon-wrapped date?!), live music, lounge furniture, and the overall vibe… 

… only for the bride and groom to miss it because they’re still taking their portraits.

Now, if skipping cocktail hour is a sacrifice you’re more than happy to make in exchange for waiting until the ceremony to have your first look, that is 100% your prerogative.

I just want you to know that’s the trade you’re making before you’re halfway through extended family portraits wondering why everyone’s having fun without you.

06. A first look lets you be humans before you become hosts.

The second your ceremony ends, the vibe of your wedding day pulls a 180.

Before the ceremony, you’re a couple getting married. After the ceremony, you’re about to be on your hosting A-game, whether you’re ready or not.

Grandma wants hugs. College roommates want photos. Guests want to congratulate you. Everybody (and I mean, everybody!) wants thirty seconds of your attention because they love you so dang much.

It’s the best thing ever… but it’s also a lot.

A first look gives you one last pocket of time where absolutely nobody needs anything from you.

Just the two of you, taking in the fact that you’re SO CLOSE to finally f*cking becoming husband and wife. I hope you don’t mind me saying so, but I think that’s pretty hard to beat.

Venue: Secrets Playa Blanca Costa Mujeres

07. Oh and… the first look photos and video will have everyone gasping for air.

I realize it’s mildly ironic that I’ve spent this entire post saying first looks aren’t really about photography. But since I am, in fact, a Minnesota wedding photographer:

You won’t even know what hit you when you see your first look photos.

And here’s why: it is one of the only moments all day where you’re reacting to each other instead of to everything happening around you.

No audience, no expectations—just two people having a moment that belongs entirely to them.

I mean… magic much?

Venue: Equestria West at Bavaria Downs

08. If your heart is still set on waiting for the ceremony…

Do it. Seriously.

This isn’t me trying to convince every couple on Earth to have a first look. In fact, some of my favorite weddings have skipped them entirely because waiting for the ceremony was genuinely part of the dream.

I just want that decision to come from your dream—not from something somebody said on TikTok or some wedding folklore that’s somehow been accepted as fact.

My job is just to tell you the trade-offs (and the tips and tricks, too) because—as a Minnesota wedding photographer who has documented my fair share of weddings—I know the trade-offs. 

If you hear them and still say, “Waiting is absolutely the experience we want.” Amazing. Let’s do it.

My Entire Case for the Wedding First Look, In One Sentence

First looks are not a photography and videography decision; they’re an experience decision.

And because one sentence simply isn’t enough:

Deciding whether or not you want to put a first look into your wedding day timeline is also deciding whether you want your wedding day to have a little more breathing room, a little more time together, and a little less sprinting from one meaningful moment to the next.

(Deciding to do a first look is also knowing your ceremony’s emotion will be so totally intact, too. If you need further evidence, I give you: Matthew seeing Sara for the second time.)

If that’s the kind of wedding day you’re hoping for, I have a sneaking suspicion your first look might end up being your favorite part of the whole thing. 

It gives your wedding day something every single one of us wishes we had a little more of: time.